With Carrie, and Spike Lee’s completely unnecessary remake of Oldboy having thankfully left cinemas, and with the upcoming will-it/won’t-it be rubbish Robocop remake on the horizon (along with dozens of other classics that are getting threatened with “The Treatment”) – we take a look at ten of the worst remakes to have come out of Hollywood.
Hopefully at some point Hollywood will wake up and realize that remakes just don’t work as a rule
And dear god, hopefully before they get round to the threatened Escape From New York remake…or the Point Break remake…
10. The Departed (2006) vs Infernal Affairs (2002)
Now this is likely going to be seen as an apocryphal entry on the list, but bear with me.
Most people were blissfully unaware that Scorsese’s The Departed was a remake of the far superior Infernal Affairs (2002). Or that, in remaking Infernal Affairs for a Western audience, the rewrite completely changed the ending and meaning of the original, with Mark Wahlberg popping up to dispense justice to the corrupt cop at the last minute.
This reworking of the ending, tailored to suit a more Western “Justice will prevail” sensibility was an absolute let down. Scorcese’s remake may have won 4 Oscars, but the fact that it was an inferior remake was swept under the carpet in the rush to finally award Marty the Oscars he had been denied in the past.
Less stylish and with a poorer story than the original in every aspect, there’s a good reason Infernal Affairs had two sequels whilst The Departed has had…
It’s strange plotting the course of Keanu Reeves’ career from the overacted hijinks of his Bill and Ted days through to the present, where he appears to have given up on acting all together. Here, we have his lowest of lows, as Keanu’s impassive yet environmentally preachy alien surveys the cinematic wreckage around him with all the emotional output of a half-eaten bagel.
Was it really necessary to take a sci-fi classic, strip it of everything that made it interesting, brilliant and significant, then proceed to plaster it with ham-fisted environmentalism and appalling dialogue? Pointless, brainless and more than a little traumatic for the old-school sci-fi crowd, The Day Keanu’s Face Stood Still left me with nothing but a worrying newfound hatred for environmental activism.